Coffee shop review OR No mom, this isn’t an excuse to support my caffeine addiction…this is for science

Coffee is a food group- right?

Recently VitaMN came out with a list of the best stuff in the cities, best coffee, best cocktail, best museum, best undiscovered neighborhood etc. And while they did give a little blurb arguing their choice, I decided long ago to quest on my own for the greatest coffee shop. So as I find ever new locations to add to this list, I think that the benchmarks for what makes a great coffee shop great, should remain the same. (As I add, I will try to group via neighborhood)

Also: if I am missing benchmarks which are VITAL for coffee shop evaluation, let me know!

1)      Great plain black brew: Fancy cocktail-like beverages are great and all, but the true judge of any shop’s quality is in the plain brown beverage.

2)      Menu/what snazzy item makes them unique: Everyone has something that makes them special…so does every shop. What is it known for, and is it good?

3)      Easy access to outlets: What can I say, I am a student and I am judging you.

4)      General atmosphere: date-y, study haven or does the shop cater mostly to the commuter addicts (in-out no time to chat)

5)      Décor

6)      Price and Wifi

7)      Most likely to hear when eavesdropping

Neighborhood: Uptown

Uncommon Grounds

1)      Maybe it was the time I went…but meh. Nothing special

2)      Chai: They even advertise on the awesome-ness of their chai. They have several flavors from plain to Pumpkin or Coconut. These are good. Also, the giant slabs of cake are pretty good.

3)      This depends. Upstairs I would whole heartedly agree, in fact it is a go-to place to study, as there are plenty of plugs and tables. Downstairs however, fat chance.

4)      Again this depends. Downstairs, with its dim lighting, and smooth music, comfy chairs screams DATE ME. Upstairs is more utilitarian with a motley assortment of tables, plenty of plugs and light from both windows and lamps. This is a big chunk of why I like to study here, but only if I can be upstairs.

5)      Again there is a split. The downstairs reflects what one would expect from the Victorian exterior, velvet and dim romantic-ness. Upstairs is again utilitarian, and fairly plain.

6)      Price: $-$$ depending on what you get. There is a $5 minimum on cards, but one Chai should run you well over that. Wifi is free.

7)      Something vaguely hipster-yish….so maybe “I liked breathing, before it was cool”

Plan B

1)      Yes. I have to agree…this is the place where I became hooked on caffeine

2)      Tripper’s Revenge, and dive-bar come coffee house vibe. Again, the tripper’s revenge with its saccharine and caffeine punch that knocks the exhaustion out of you, was my first coffee beverage…I may be biased

3)      No. There are not a ton plugs.

4)      Funky coffee house…what you would expect of uptown

5)      Funky art, random garage-sale furniture

6)      Price $ wifi-umm yes

7)      To quote overheard.com : http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/page/37?s=minneapolis

Hipster girl #1: You ate all the fucking hummus again!
Hipster girl #2: No, YOU ate all the hummus!
Hipster girl #1: Why would I eat all the hummus?

Neighborhood: Dinkytown

Purple Onion

1)      Yum! Although I may be influenced by the fact that desperation for caffination often drives me here, but still tasty.

2)      Being the purple onion…I do not know.

3)      Yes. This is right next to the University of MN, and the Onion both knows and recognizes the major needs of its primary demographic

4)      Clean, Open and nice. Not cozy, but comfortable and a place designed for students.

5)      Snazzier than other student coffee shops, but not swanky.

6)      Price: $, Wifi Free with password

7)      As it is the closest stop to the Peik, a LOT of education majors hang here….so probably something along the lines of….”Wow, that is a great way to differentiate based on Language proficiency, while still maintaining the same higher order thinking skills as ascribed in Bloom’s Taxonomy”

Neighborhood: Cathedral Hill (Oh yes People, St. Paul has coffee shops too)

 Nina’s

1)      Yum and a great variety.

2)      Famous for a few things – one: the name. It is pronounced N-ay-n-ah’s, and named after one of St. Paul’s most famous madams. two: The neighborhood atmosphere that it cultivates – there is a sign that says something along the lines of ‘This isn’t the bus, if there is an empty seat take it – share tables with strangers’ three: I forgot.

3)      So-so. There are a few along the benches, but either they fill up fast or there is not a ton of space for computer and books.

4)      Clean, genial atmosphere, like the bar on Cheers….although if you are a stranger sometimes it does feel like you are walking into someone else’s neighborhood bar.

5)      Clean, interesting art, including some stained glass.

6)      Price: $-$$, Wifi – Yes

7)      St. Paul pride here, it is reflected in the name. Nina’s also sits above the original Common Good Books, and attracts a literary crowd…so maybe something along the lines of “Hmm I usually love the figurative language of  (fill in local author’s name here), but I was disappointed that the latest book spent two chapters in Minneapolis.”